Right now I'm mad at Brianna, but I'm mostly mad at myself.
He came to school mad because I ignored him yesterday. (which is sort of true) I did not officially apologize, which I'm killing myself for right now. But I did hug him and he hugged me back, and we held hands as we walked to class together. I assumed he wasn't very mad.
Well. The reason I'd ignored him in the first place is because 1. He sometimes doesn't show up at lunch and only afterwards does he tell me he wasn't there. Duh. I'm not friends with his friends, so I have to spend the entire lunch period waiting for him when he's not there. It's a complete waste of my time.
And 2. When he is at lunch he never talks to me.
So, I sat somewhere else at lunch without telling him. And I was still mad after lunch, so I wouldn't let him hug me.
He's still mad, and he hasn't even asked me why I ignored him! I know I was mean to him, but what if there was a perfectly rational explanation? *seethes with insatiable anger* My goal for tomorrow is to apologize and talk to him about what made me mad. Good?
Tomorrow I'm going to Spring's house!!! And I get to go to her quinceanos!!! At this quinceanos there happens to be a friend of mine- Ann Michelle. Something occurred to me: what if I meet her and she doesn't like me? What if it's really awkward? What if I make a complete fool of myself (which is likely to happen) and her opinion of me is ruined?
I think I care too much about what other people think of me. And that I get way too attached to people. (ex, Timothy) :'-(
5 comments:
Uh oh... rough spot with Brianna <_< I think today is just a rough day in general. Tomorrow should be better. In any case, I wish you well (it might make you feel better).
Er, anyway... I'm pretty much going through the options myself XD I tend to take things as they come - so I prolly won't worry too much until I see you. Don't worry, I also tend to greet others on a blank slate, so to speak (I don't bring much of any expectations into things - especially on first encounters - since I like it better finding out what Life hands my way). Now I am excited to go XD
Fun! please keep us updated on the festivities; they will most likely be way more exciting than my Thanksgiving plans. ;)
Here comes the bf...
Well, you should eat at lunchtime, shouldn't you? :P So talking is not important. On the other hand I need some time when everyone shuts up. Maybe he needs it too.
Hopefully your aforementioned apprehensions were unfounded :).
Happy Thanskgiving!!!!
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