How to tell if someone you know is an alien:
1. Check to see if they are missing or have additional limbs.
2. See if they speak an Earth language.
3. Pull their hair. If the person's head comes off, he or she is an alien.
4. All aliens are afraid of fishing poles. Make sure your friend is not.
5. Confront them.
The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook is the #1 best seller on Planet Chogga. The Choggans borrowed the idea from Joshua Piven and David Borgenicht, the authors of a marvellous book with the same title, yet vastly different scenarios. I showed you the first scenario from chogga's version so you can appreciatethe number of aliens we have on our own little planet. Of course, you don't know that this is true, so how can you go around realizing that George Washington was really from Planet Gloob, or that your pet lizard is really a Hormocoglapnifug from Planet Iklpikmitberryootornoptoharrypotteripshy, or that your best friend, who you thought was Swedish, is actually a Htckese on a mission to destroy Earth, but is double crossing her employers so that they think that Earth is going to be destroyed next Tuesday except it won't because your friend, of course, is lying through her teeth and really doesn't have a missle but a very loud explosive toothbrush that annoys her neighbors so much that they called the police, who arrested her and put her in jail for 5 hours, during which time she thought up a plot to destroy her employers with the heat-seeking paintbrush she has under her floorboards!!
*written by ME and NO ONE ELSE (IT'S MINE AND IF YOU COPY WITHOUT PERMISSION YOU WILL BE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE) in 2005*
3 comments:
LOL - OMG, I seriously thought you were talking about something my Terry Pratchett or Niel what's-his-name...
This is perfect XD I LOVE IT! Very cool the way you captured the style and flow of ideas so easily...
Haha, I was actually thinking about checking the "book" out ^_^;
LOVE IT! I cheated and looked at the bottom to see who wrote this post. A very witty post :). LOVE IT! (I think, I already said that :D)
Well, I heard a "rumour" that ET got named after a Hungarian scientist. He moved to the US but he was a Hungarian and took part in constructing the hydrogene bomb. So Americans thought he speaks an alien language when he spoke Hungarian so ET was created from Ede Teller).
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