My Day on Id

This morning I was feeling extra hungry so I decided to put some id in my cereal. It was chocolate flavored, of course, so it turned the milk a nice rich brown and I watched it settle before taking a sip. It was so good that I gulped down the whole thing right to the very last drop.

I felt full, so I grabbed my backpack and headed for the- wait! There were some chocolates hiding in the pantry. I could smell them. I didn't even stop to think, I just opened the door and stuffed them into my backpack, relishing the moment I would get to taste them. Then I had to spring to get to my bus. I wasn't halfway outside when I realized that there was a spare key to the van hanging over on the hat knob.

Needless to say, I drove to school. And I parked in the handicapped spot closest to the door.

Strutting through the main entrance, I noticed Snark talking to some friends so I waved. No time to chat though, because my physics test was waiting for me.

During the test, I got called down to the office for parking in the handicapped spot. Anyway, my permit was suspended and my car towed, so i went back to class pretty pissed.

By the time psychology rolled around, i was even more mad, just because. Unfortunately, the teacher chose that moment to remind me that we had a test tomorrow. I couldn't take it anymore- i threw myself on the floor and screamed as loudly as I could.

"Are you ok?" Psycho asked.

I just screamed louder. Then, I burst into tears, got up, and fled to the bathroom. Nothing was going right for me today.

The bell rang and I decided to go to Math, to try and turn my day around. I was doing very well, too, especially when a very handsome guy sat down behind me. he was so attractive that I turned to him and kissed him. He's suing me for sexual harassment.

During lunch, I went to the library to try and finish some calculus homework. I'd already eaten, thankfully, so it was'nt big deal, but by the time school ended I was getting hungry, so I grabbed the first kid I saw with a cereal bar and shoved it into my face. Then I realized I'd forgotten about the chocolate in my backpack, so I got that out, but it was melted. I poured it out onto the floor, dropped the bag, and left.

Snark sat next to me on the bus, covered in chocolate. He'd tripped in it. I laughed at him as he tried to lick it off himself.

I was in a good mood when I got home, but that quickly evaporated when I heard my brother banging away on the piano. Plink Plink Plink, BANG BANG BANG.

Wasting no time, I whipped out my chainsaw and cut the thing into 900 separate pieces, then burned each piece and blew the ashes to the far winds.

My brother stared at me in horror.

'Finally, some peace and quiet from your incessant, insane-driving, NOISE! Go practice on the electric piano," I said with satisfaction. "I'm going to take a nap."

I did, and by the time I awoke, the id had worn off.