An interesting difference of opinions came up between Olaf and I a few days ago.
I dislike guys who sleep around more than girls who sleep around, and he dislikes girls who sleep around more than guys who sleep around.
Obviously, one reason we could think differently about this is that girls who sleep around are more threatening to guys than other guys getting it on with whomever. And guys are more threatening to girls.
I think there might be more to it, though. Logically, I should dislike girls who sleep around more, because they should hurt my chances of finding a boyfriend who hasn't had a dozen bedmates. They also give girls in general a bad reputation, assuming people assume higher numbers of sluts in the population than there actually are. They make sex more accessible to the guys girls want to be with, so those guys don't need to commit to relationships.
Guys who sleep around are just filling the stereotype that males are constantly horny.
Of course, upon further examination, slutty girls do not hurt my chances of finding a boyfriend who isn't sexually inundated. This is because a large population of the girls that sleep around tend to sleep with a small population of boys. The bad reputation I'm not sure about, because I don't know how most people view women. I'm inclined to think that people assume that most women they meet are not sluts. As for guys girls want to be with, I'm not even sure if I'd like the kinds of guys that get a lot of free action, or that I could get them if they weren't sleeping around.
That means I have no reason to dislike girls for their behavior, other than when they cheat on my friends.
What does that leave? The threat that a player might try and use me, and personality. Players tend to be more narcissistic and get a lot of attention, both of which turn me off to the idea of hanging around them. Narcissists are irritating because they think they're better than they are. People that get a lot of attention are more likely to be narcissistic, and I also dislike larger crowds of loud, obnoxious people.
I'm not entirely sure why it's important, but Olaf asked me why we had the difference of opinion and I couldn't quite give him an answer on the spot. Not at least I have more insight into the matter.
1 comments:
In our culture, sex is regarded essentially in the same way as eating insofar as its place in the pantheon of activities is viewed somewhere on a direct line between biological imperative and a recreational activity in its own right. This is the standard position, and the one taken by probably in excess of 99% of the population. Viewed in this way, sleeping around is of little or no consequence. The only brake we allow is the moralistic one. Morality is largely a construct of religion as part of its power mechanism, and is thus supremely ignorable.
I happen to be one of the >1%, and to me, sleeping around is about as bad as it gets since it destroys the sanctity of the masculine:feminine connection. I happen to believe that women who sleep around are infinitely worse than men who do so, simply because I believe that the physical aspect of the sacred connection is centred in the female body and not the male. This was what I was referring to in a blog post once when I said that men are merely the farmers, while women are mother earth. When women sleep around, they are denying their sacred superiority and exhibiting the greatest lack of self-respect.
The first paragraph is factual, the second just my feeling on the matter.
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